Martin said, "It feels as though part of my self has detached and gone to Amsterdam, where it–she–is waiting for me. Do you know about phantom-limb syndrome?" Julia nodded. "There's pain where she ought to be. It's feeding the other pain, the thing that makes me wash and count and all that. So her absence is stopping me from going to find her. Do you see? Audrey Niffenegger
About This Quote

Martin said, "It feels as though part of my self has detached and gone to Amsterdam, where it—she—is waiting for me. Do you know about phantom-limb syndrome?" Julia nodded. "There's pain where she ought to be. It's feeding the other pain, the thing that makes me wash and count and all that.

So her absence is stopping me from going to find her." Martin was a patient at a clinic in Amsterdam, where a portion of his arm had been amputated to treat a mysterious disorder. He was also in love with a woman named Julia, who was in the city as well. And when Martin awoke from a nap to find his phantom-limb had returned to him, he felt both relieved and terrified.

Like losing an arm or leg, he no longer felt complete without it; his limb was like an essential piece of himself. But Martin couldn't find Julia again; he passed the hospital every day on his way back home but kept missing her by just seconds each time. He wasn't sure if it was important that he found her before he lost his limb again, but he wanted it back nonetheless."

Source: Her Fearful Symmetry

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